![]() If a publisher can check out the pitiful sales of your last book, you're looking at a low-five-figure deal.ġ0. Writing a book about organic bodybuilding? Sell it as "a cross between Hillbilly Elegy and The Handmaid's Tale."ĩ. Cite successful comparative titles in your proposal. Act needy and insecure-it's the only way a publisher can be sure you're a real writer.Ĩ. The easiest person to reach has the least amount of money to spend.ħ. Don't seek out the most accessible editor at the publishing house. Write a " selling blurb," attribute it to a best-selling author, and wait until after you have a deal to ask permission to use it.Ħ. Don't be shy about using LARGE PRINT or blank space between chapters as a "design element."ĥ. Assume the reader/editor/publisher suffers from attention deficit disorder. Publishers know that means selling five thousand copies-at most.Ĥ. Never use the word literary in your proposal. Or: Write a one-paragraph nonfiction proposal about your hideous childhood, drug addiction, sex tape, or years as president.ģ. Write a novel about a magical world filled with one or more of the following: dying high school students, bondage enthusiasts, murderous wives, or drifters who solve crimes. Basic literacy is a plus, but not essential.Ģ. "Why are you hurting yourself? I just do as Warren Buffett says and buy the index." (You can't go wrong if you invoke the sage.) "I don't give cash to charity I only donate low-basis stock." (Giving cash is passé.)ħ. If someone tells you a stock is going to move, ask, "Is that on fundamentals or multiple expansion?"Ħ. "I'm thinking about starting a family office." (The superrich don't use financial advisors anymore instead, they are using "family offices" to manage their wealth.)ĥ. When someone tells you they're selling a stock, ask, "Are you long or short?"Ĥ. ![]() Ask, "Is the _ industry getting Amazoned?" (Ditto.)ģ. "Is Tesla overvalued?" (There is no right or wrong answer, so sit back and enjoy the show.)Ģ. Seven Lines to Drop While Dealing with a Finance Blowhardīy Andrew Ross Sorkin, The New York Timesġ.
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